A True story?
As I lay in my bed that seemingly, peaceful night I felt tiredness well up in me and my eyes began to become too heavy for me to keep open. This was a good thing being the fact that I needed to wake up the following morning invigorated and ready for class. But on this night, as peaceful as it seemed it would turn out to be anything but a simple peaceful night. In that moment, as I lay, I was in peace and moments later I had dosed off. That is as long as the peace for me would last because for some reason within a few minutes later I was awaked by a loud, awful yell. When I came to it felt more like this yell was an individual screaming violently at another. As I lay there in my bed and because of the yell I became totally awake and following, totally aware. I realized then that a neighbor of mine was yelling violently at her son. By not much choice I began listening to the screaming and heard all types of profane statements flying out of my neighbor’s mouth. I thought to myself that I’ve in my now 32 years of life had never spoken to a human being in such a sadistic manner; it really was that bad. I did hear bits and peaces of the child whom was getting yelled at. He made these small sounds which sounded like a whimpering, lost, cold puppy. While that was going on I heard a smack and I the cry of the child followed; witnessing this in the manner that I was made me feel so uneasy. I really wanted to run to the child and stand over him, I wanted to break the door down to my neighbor’s house and somehow shield the child from all that was coming at him but I knew deep in my heart that at the time there wasn’t much I could do to help. In about a few minutes later all was silent and I was left with such an uneasy feeling. About 20 minutes after that I dosed off with tears in my eyes.
It seemed like ten minutes had passed since I witnessed an innocent child being verbally abused but for some reason following my eyes flew open. I’d become wide awake but I’d awoken to a very unpleasant surprise. The surprise which I was awoken to actually felt as if something was holding me down with plenty of strength and vigor but it was dark so that I couldn’t see anything. I did how ever feel these hands pulling me down, they were slowly pulling me down off of my bed and in the direction of the floor. I attempted to move and felt surprisingly no fear in me at all. Something which felt full of light came over me and at that moment, and more so then ever I knew who and what I was and I knew that whatever was pulling on me could not cause harm to me. I called out, “Get off of me!” and I struggled under the weight of this force in an attempt to free myself. With all of that struggling it seemed as if my efforts were useless so in the next moment I decided to simply relax. Then next I was actually off the bed and was slowly being placed onto the floor. It felt as if I was floating but I was floating downward. In about three seconds later I was down on the floor and then in the next moment I was literally being pulled through the floor. This turn of events confused me and also angry me. I still had no fear within me but there was still this anger and it was gaining momentum. It felt as if this anger was flowing through my veins, making me feeling utterly hot (anger is an aspect of fear, so that being said I wasn’t afraid but I guess I did have “fear” within me). I decided to try and get lose again so I began shifting and with the shifting I struggled some more. As I shifted I glanced over to my side and within the darkness I could vaguely see my arm disappearing into the floor. It was funny because I couldn’t even feel the floor as my arm made contact with it and then found its way through. The weirdest thing about the situation was that I actually couldn’t even physically feel anything that was happening to me. As a matter of fact I kind of felt like I was still lying in my bed, I felt awake and aware but I felt as if I was still under the covers in my bed, it was the most confusing feeling in the world, it actually felt as confusing as it sounds. So with me in the struggle and me not even gaining a physical feeling of what was happening to me, out of nowhere something else came over me which felt like even more light and love and at that moment all of the anger which I had within me was converted into acceptance. As soon as this happen I actually said out loud, “do what you need to do but I know you can’t hurt me and you are not REAL!” then with that acceptance and new serenity on my side I closed my eyes with literally no fear in me what so ever (not even anger). The next moment I found myself waking up; still laying in my bed just as if I hadn’t undergone anything out of the norm. But there was something that was still occurring, as I opened my eyes I saw these white faces and they looked as if they were some type of strange ghostly figures simply floating above me with hate in their glares. “You aren’t real.” I said quietly as I jumped up and grabbed at the faces. As soon as my hands made contact with them they simply disappeared. When all was back to normal I slowly settled back down and allowed my mind to cogitate for a few minutes. Soon after I dosed off and into a dream which was simply more pleasant then what I had just underwent.
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Now I would love to hear what anyone who comes across what I just wrote above things about what I underwent that night. I know I put a question mark in front of the “true story” toping that I place before I wrote about my experience but let me just make myself clear, I REALLY DID GO THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE AND JUST LAST WEEK TOO. The thing is; I have an opinion on why I went through what I had and I also have an opinion on what exactly the force which held me down and those faces were. To be quiet blunt, I truly do believe that I was dealing with demons that night. Now before you get all excited let me just tell you that to this day I don’t believe in Satan, hell or demons that live outside of us waiting to take our souls. I think that to believe in such mythology is no different then believe in Zeus and Hades. But I do believe in a darkness that does live within us all.
We live in a universe of contrast, this means we live in a place which opposites do and must exist. I believe that things are in the way that they are for our benefit because if we didn’t have something called darkness we wouldn’t be able to experience light. We would “know” light but we wouldn’t be able to experience light. Just like joy and pain, without pain we can’t experience joy, we have to know what pain is to experience joy and life IS and needs to be an experience. Before time even existed (because we created time) there was just “being”. This being is what I call God and this being had all of us a part of it just as it does now. We and God were One and the same just as we are now but there was only God and nothing else. So God couldn’t experience God unless God had contrast. This is why God split and made different parts and aspects of itself so from that one idea the universe was born. Scientist calls this event the big bang theory because it was a big bang which made manifest the universe. Now I want you to think of it like this for clarity; when you have an idea doesn’t it feel like something “hit” you? Sometimes when I gain a realization my head physically goes back a bit. I feel as if I was just “hit” with something, I feel as if an explosion just occurred within my mind, I feel as if a “big bang” occurred. This is what happened in the beginning when God created the universe (so you see, religious books and science tell the same story, just in a different way so they (some religious leaders and some scientist) need to stop fighting with each other and see that they are both about the same thing). That idea which made the universe so was the contrast idea and from that moment on God and all the parts of God was able to not only know but experience what it meant to exist.
Contrast is the reason why “evil” energy exists but this evil energy doesn’t exist outside of us, its all in us. So whether you call it fear, Satan, demons, the dark side or whatever it is something that is in existence within you. It is there so that you can experience things like joy, happiness and love (God) and this is the only reason that it does exist. Demons can exist in a physical form and so can Satan but it has to be us to make it so within the mind first. The mind is an amazing tool and it can manifest physical objects and beings out of just thought (there is a science that actually studies phenomenon as such; I probably will go into that more in another post). One could even be hypnotized into thinking that a piece of ice is hot as coal so when they touch it, the ice would actually leave burn marks on their skin. Some people NEED to believe in Satan in order to believe in God and they will fight you down to the bone if you say that Satan isn’t real because without Satan they feel as if they can’t experience God. I never try and take the Satan experience away from those people because I want them to be able to experience God since God is love but if I’m asked do I believe in Satan I quickly say no. I don’t like the Satan idea because it puts a personality on darkness thus making it seem that this darkness is outside of us. In doing that it make it seem that this darkness has power over us whether we give it the power or not and this darkness is out to get our soul. THE PURPOSE OF SATAN IS CONTRAST; IT IS IN EXISTENCE SO THAT GOD CAN BE EXPERINCE, NOT TO HURT US AND STEAL OUR SOULS. The darkness that others acknowledge as Satan is acknowledged as me by simple darkness or the dark side. In doing this I know that this is something that is apart of me and that lives IN ME, I don’t give it a personality (when we give things personal names we give them personalities) and I don’t make it out to be some person. I am the darkness that is within me, I am this darkness but I am also light. This is the way I look at it and this is why I was able to get rid of the demons that “attacked” me with ease and without harm. I knew that they were nothing but a physical representation of a dark vibe which dictated helplessness and imprisonment which exist within me.
As a child growing up I felt helpless. I was afraid of just about everything and everyone. I was afraid to express myself, I was afraid to simply be and I felt weak. I had “demons” within me but didn’t realize it and during this period of fear I never faced them. Because of this I was helpless and I was held down. I missed a lot of the normal activities that kids gain because of this fear because of it. I never went to parties, I never dated as a kid, I didn’t participate in anything in high school, I did nothing but radiate fear. Then as I grew older I knew that if I wanted to live I needed to change. I started to read more and I started to get more serious with my spiritual side. Following I got to “remember” God and I gain strength. But as a kid I also had an experience with a demon. It actually knocked hard on my window and said, “whose in there!!? It was a night as I lay in my bed as a kid some years back. I was about 13 years old and I was so afraid at that moment that I convulsed. That was all of that gathered fear that I had within me and also back then I did believe in a hell, and Satan and demons so it wasn’t too hard for my mind to manifest that aspect of me into reality. Now, even though there is a small part of me that does believe in such things like demons running around outside of me (if I didn’t have this belief then I wouldn’t of had the demon experience) I know who and what I am and I know that creatures like demons are not real in an outside prospective.
I have a good connection with children because I have never left the “child” aspect of me behind. This becomes evident to anyone who sees how children are around me. They(children) jump around and they play, they are happy and they tell me things that they would never tell any other adults (even adults that are much younger then me). They feel the childlike vibe coming off of me and they know that I’m not going to hit them, punish them or judge them. They know that I don’t look down on them and I don’t think that I am wiser or better then them in any aspect, this gives me an opportunity to help them like other adults cannot because they are open to me in a way that I can feel them. This is why I connected with that child that night and this is why I had the experience with the demons. I felt helpless just as the child did when the person that he loved the most in the world came at him in such a hateful way. I remembered how it was for me to live in fear of myself as a child (not because my parents yelled at me in a violent manner because they didn’t but because the world actually did). From that and because I was connected to a vibe of powerless entrapment the demons came. They came from MY darkness. When my mind became the radiate with light of God it caused me to not become fearful and also to overcome the demons with ease. I know now that I am a child of God; I know that I am One with God and that God is always with me. Knowing that and know that God is all that exist gives me the wisdom to know that those demons couldn’t have been real and so after a few moments they weren’t. It feels good to have these knowings. It gives me confidence and these knowings also gives me enough insight to lend a helping had out to others. So in closing, my experience is as I wrote and my belief still stands strong. I feel that if I did believe in outside demons, those very demons more then likely would have been able to inflict physical harm and fear onto me. Love is the answer, love is the way and there is no way in “hell” that a child should have to undergo what that child did on that night not to long ago and I don’t care what he did ether before. Children are perfect and children are love but most of all, children are HUMAN. They are not some lower class citizen that are meant to be talked down on or verbally abused because they’ve done something that some adult doesn’t understand. If I see a child being abused I will stand up for them (as I have in the past and man did I catch a wrath for it). Our little ones need someone to stand up for them and since I STILL FEEL AS IF AM ONE OF THEM I will be that person. Use love, not fear to reach and understand others. If you don’t you may just help to manifest demons for them.
Namaste
Our children come through us, not for us. They are life longing for itself. Remember that!
