As I drove to work this morning sometime came to me from a place that I can’t even explain. It was a realization on something that I felt from within. These pass few weeks haven’t really been the easiest of weeks for me, a lot of unexpected situations have arisen and a lot of so called hardships have come into my experience. It’s like one thing after the other was happening to me, these things made me not even feel like getting up in the morning, it just seemed that it wasn’t right for all of these situations to be occurring one after the other like they were. So as I drove to work today I had my eye on my gas gage because it’s been sitting E for the last three days. The reason for this is because I simply didn’t have the money to fill it up and the reason for that was because of an unexpected situation that arose which caused me to not have asses to my funds. I’ve been counting down to the day which I would have more funds and I’ve been planning all week how I was to deal with all of my so called money issues because I don’t have a checking account anymore. With that issue plus other issues that have plagued me I didn’t do something which I should have done all a lone. I know that everything which has happened has happened because of decisions that I’ve made in my life and I plan to come out of this so called slump even better then I was before I got into it but, as I felt this way and as I looked at my life I forgot to truly notice my life. First off just the weather, it’s been perfect all week. It has been so beautiful, the temperature has been perfect, it hasn’t been raining a lot and everything has been great. All of the vegetations have been growing beautifully and the night air has felt so good. I should have used these elements to fuel me in my day but it all eluted me for I was so bent on the “negative” issues in my life that I forgot to look at the positive ones. So much beauty and I didn’t notice any of it. I was so worried about the “small” things in my life that I didn’t even notice the bigger picture. It makes me truly realize how fortunate I really am. I felt myself crawling into a shell because I didn’t want to deal with my life but yet, life is and always has been beautiful. I just wasn’t looking at the beauty even though it truly does overcast the ugly. This is the biggest lie of all, to believe in something that really isn’t real. It’s been such a beautiful week but I was counting down the time of this week, wanting it to end so that I would come into my funds to fix certain financial issues. These issues that we plagued ourselves with are small compared to the bigger picture. Even though I missed it now that I realize it I can truly enjoy it. I can enjoy the beauty that this week has given me, I can enjoy the great weather and I can simply enjoy being me. This weekend already promises to be a beautiful one, I won’t miss this one and I don’t want anyone else to ether.
NAMASTE
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